Remember when we were kids and 40 seemed sooooo old? Now, at 40, I find that I can’t tell how old anyone is anymore but I do know that I no longer think of 40 as old (my body frequently disagrees!).
As I approach 41, I look back at the past year and what it has taught me. I have learned so much about myself, the world and what 40 means to me. As an “Xennial” 40 is both terrifying and exciting. I feel some days like I am living the life of a twenty something, but then I remind myself that age is just a number. You can live any life you want at any age.
When I was 37, I decided I wanted to live in a tropical climate and that I wanted to experience the world. While I loved my nieces and nephews and kids of friends, Ben and I had decided early on in our relationship that while we love children, we didn’t see our own children in our future and we were OK with that.
We opted to live a life of freedom and adventure and as they say it, live our best life. So, here we are now, and this is 40.
Last year at this time, I was back living my best life in the Caribbean, a couple of months into a new job that I loved, planning weddings in my down time, traveling and living the dream. I was convinced that 40 was going to be my best year yet. For so long 40 was a scary word that I didn’t dare ponder too much. I refused to become what my vision of 40 was. I refused to let a number dictate how I was meant to live my life.
Well, in that I succeeded, but was 40 my best year yet? Well, I am still working on determining that as I speak. I was convinced that I would kill it at my new job, travel to new places, make a ton of money, and live in my island home of St. Croix. I did do some of those things but in May, after being unexpectedly laid off, I was shaken to my core. I didn’t know how to move forward from that. I had lost faith in myself and my abilities, I questioned friendships, so much had changed in such a short period.
But, I am of the belief that things happen for a reason, and while many things life has presented have been difficult, I am where I am meant to be right now.
After a few months of unemployment, grief, acceptance, etc. I reached out to an HR consultant that I had met a year prior. At the time I met her it wouldn’t have worked out for me but I happened to have contacted her at the exact right time, they were looking for remote based project manager and they were fine with me doing it from the Virgin Islands. So suddenly, I was self employed, loving my new normal and the freedom that came with it.
During a recent chat with a friend she pointed out to me that I was doing exactly what I had said I wanted to do, working remotely, living on an island and traveling and she was right…. Out of nowhere, I was living my best life and my dream.
As I write this, Ben and I continue to talk about our next adventure, will it be Latin living in Nicaragua, campervan life in the US, or perhaps stateside life in the southwest with more frequent short travels? Time will tell what that future holds but for now, I just want to appreciate what we have and enjoy it!
This is my version of 40, what did, will or does 40 look like for you?
